Sorrey Canada!
Another series win – and another one doing it the hard way.
That was a nice move by the Yankees. Giving a sense of false hope to the good people of Canada is a great example of American diplomacy. Unfortunately, we kind of ruined those diplomatic efforts with back to back wins in their stadium.
But, I’ve got some BIG NEWS out of the Talkin Yanks world. I am trying out different formula to these game recaps.
I know that full weekend recaps can be a tad long sometimes…
Hey, I like to talk a lot about the Yankees, sue me! But now I’m just going to split them each up, game by game.
Trying to be a little more succinct, ya feel me?
Still, Friday’s game wasn’t too fun – so, in true Johnny Pinstripes fashion, let’s just gloss over it quickly and get to the good stuff. Shall we?
Sonny Gray you are such a fucking scrub. I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, time and time again, but you keep on disappointing me. And disappointing Cashman. And disappointing ALL OF US.
You’re like the problem child son who keeps getting arrested and upsetting his parents. Sooner or later, we’re going to have to send Sonny away to boarding school.
Boarding school could mean multiple things: DFA him, demote him to Triple A, or send him to San Diego. Or Cincinnati. Or Kansas City. Or Japan. Or fucking Mars.
Yeah, I like that idea the best. Tie him up, throw in a space shuttle, and shoot that rocket out of our solar system. He can have his own Mars adventures, just like Matt Damon in The Martian!
I have the perfect tag line and everything: The Martian 2: Sonny Gray is a Scrub.
Direct, informative, and to the point. I love it.
All kidding aside, Sonny has been downright terrible. It’s getting to the point where he might still be in the rotation for one reason, and one reason only.
Brian Cashman is a genius – I don’t want you to think I’m hating on him. But it is in the realm of possibility that Sonny is remaining as a starter because Cashman does not want to admit that he made a mistake. Think about it.
Cash is basically a wizard. Throughout the years, he has pulled off some mind-boggling deals that have enhanced our team, time and time again.
Because of this, it’s not crazy to think that the guy has developed a bit of an ego. Because of this ego, don’t you think he’d be frustrated to trade a guy who has been pitching like this?
He doesn’t want to concede! He doesn’t want to get rid of Sonny and be like “hey guys, I messed up on that one. Sonny’s no good. My bad.”
He is hoping and praying like Tim Tebow that Sonny will FINALLY get things together and right the ship.
But, as of now, that doesn’t look like it will be a reality.
I’m trying to remain positive, but that is really hard to do when dealing with Sonny Gray. He’s like an ex-girlfriend.
You keep wanting to give her second chances, but you know she is just going to hurt you again. Because she sucks.
Sonny, you are the shitty ex-girlfriend or boyfriend in all of our lives. Congratulations.
So yeah, Sonny gave up 5 runs in the second inning. I know we’re the Yankees, and no comeback should be an issue, but that is a tough one.
But we still could’ve done it! Unfortunately, our bats were ice cold. Call us Mr. Freeze.
And to make matters worse, we’re the shitty Schwarzenegger Mr. Freeze. Can’t get much worse than that…
The lone bright spot was that Aaron Hicks continued to mash every baseball in his field of vision. He crushed a solo shot 408 feet. He also added a RBI walk, just to prove to us that “new Hicksy” has great plate discipline, in addition to a hot bat.
That was the extent of our scoring – 2 RBIs by Mr. Triple Cheeseburger.
Toronto tacked on another run and we lost 6-2. Fuck you, Sonny.
As I stated above, I’m splitting up the game recaps now…stay tuned for Games 2 and 3 very very soon!
Follow me on Twitter @JohnFerraro_